After the high I felt from quitting and finally being unchained from that “old boys clubs” company, reality hit and there were moments when I began to second-guess my decision to leave without having anything lined up. I wondered if I had just made the biggest mistake of my adult career. Although I wasn’t happy there, I was comfortable. I had a guaranteed paycheck every week, good benefits and I had structure. Many times throughout the course of the eight months that I was unemployed I contemplated going back to my old job. I had bills and I was too young to have anxiety and stress over which bill was most important to pay with my “cute” $700 weekly paycheck I was currently receiving from all my temp jobs. At the time I was unable to see past the choices I made because I did not understand where those choices were leading me. I don’t think I ever cried that much in my entire life.
My dad, a man who truly doesn’t believe in expressing emotions through water works, managed to sit through my weekly crying sessions, all my rants about the jobs I have applied to, all my doubts about ever getting a full time job in the field I wanted, and the fact that I wanted a new pair of shoes but my cable bill was due. Honey, even in the time of despair you can’t look as bad as you feel but I digress.
Don’t become so desperate you are no longer discerning.
I wanted my stability back and I didn’t know where to find it.
